A Reflection of Love

(an old poem I wanted to share w/you all.....I was deeply hut by someone I never thought would hurt me but life goes on)

I Hate What You Did to Me…

I hate that you did everything in your will to hurt me
I hate that you took my heart and ran with it
I hate that thru it all you never cared
I hate that you didn’t give a damn about me or how I felt
I hate that you were never there when I cried
I hate that you lied
I hate that you cheated
I hate that you played games with me
I hate that I found out the way I did
I hate that I had to play investigator instead of your girlfriend

I hate that you were different around your friends
I hate that you made me different around my friends
I hate that you changed and made me stay the same

I hate that everyone else was right but me
I hate that people could see it, but I was blind
I hate that you made me blind to everything and everyone

I hate that you were immature
I hate that I was too mature for you
I hate that I had to play mom all the time

I hate that I had to do the things that you should have done
I hate that I’m a different person because of you

I hate that I don’t fully understand how to love myself because I loved you too much

I hate that I can never stand when your name is spoken
I hate that I judge every boy that comes my way because of what you did
I hate that you made me second guess myself
I hate that you tried to make me weak
I hate that I thought about you when you never gave a damn
I hate that you were apart of my life
I hate that I can’t ever be the same
I hate that I’m not me [all because of you]!

You will never understand what you have done and you probably don’t care but I pray every night that I never have to be put in this situation ever again. You hurt me so bad; I never thought it was possible. You honestly don’t give a damn! In the end I have to thank you for hurting me and letting me get to the lowest point in my life because if I didn’t reach that point then I wouldn’t be where I am now. I am a beautiful, educated African American young lady who has realized that you have to learn from your mistakes in order to grow. Because of you I have a better appreciation for myself and those who have been treated the same. I will always remember the hateful things you have done but most importantly I will remember how to live without you. I will remember who I am and I how I made it!!!

- older& wiser
December 16, 2007